Thursday, July 23, 2009

I'm Not Dead, But Aunt Diane Is

After laying alone in her little messy mobile home for what the coroner estimates as six days. Six hot July days. The police department found my dead aunt. There she was all six feet of her laid out naked on her bed.

She slept naked, I'm sure. My mother's family had a propensity to want to be naked a lot, probably as a result of growing up in boiling hot Texas temperatures with girdles, stiff bras, and up-dos. As a matter of fact, their mother was kicked out of a nursing home because she refused to put clothes on.

My sisters have fond memories of Grandmother sitting on park benches without panties, airing out her Lily. She was a fine Texas lady, don't get me wrong. She grew roses, married the mayor, and went to finishing school. She complied and acquiesced and used all her charm and grace. It seems that going without panties might have been her only holdout. The last chance she had to rebel.

My mom and her sister were very close and shared their interests in all the arts. They are tall, like me. And red-headed. Its hard not to be opinionated and bossy when you look like us. This presented Aunt Diane and Mom with a bit of a competitive edge. As a matter of fact, when my mom found out that Aunt Diane had died, she said "Damn it!" I asked her what's the matter. She replied "She learned everything she needed know before I did so she gets to move on. Now I'm stuck here with all her shit!" I know, it's totally true. We are stuck with all her shit, and there's a lot of it mixed in with the treasures.

Mom and I believe that we are sent here to learn lessons and once you've learned them, you get to move on. Since Mom is older, I'm sure she's feeling a bit left behind. But I told her not to learn too much too fast, because I want her to stay longer.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I Am Not Dead

Me and my posse are packing up the house and moving into a new house. The new house is not finished. There are inspectors, and fire requirements, and checks to write. It is exciting and frantic and tedious. I'm overwhelmed with my "blessings" and have been unable to post anything for a while.

The Good News:

We might finish up this week and then I can write more Blogger Queen Adventures and restaurant reviews for Uptake, if I don't get fired first.

I finally figured out how to track the visitors to Bloggerqueen and I'm so excited! I have visitors from Australia, Ireland (my personal favorite), India, UK, Canada, and of course right here in the good ole' US of A.

My mind has been spinning with tales, but my fingers have not found the time for typing. Seriously, I haven't even straightened my bangs for three weeks. So please forgive me. I'll be back soon.

Your Queen,