Monday, May 4, 2009
Time for "The Talk"
My daughter had "Life Class" last week. If I was in charge I'd rename it "It's Not Fair: What's Going to Happen to you Next!"
I've already explained to Katia everything she needs to know anyway, but it was nice for the teacher to tell her again. I've lost a lot of credit with Katia because I don't know how to do square routes or decimal dividing and stuff like such as that. Der. I was forced to tell her the horrible forebodings of her future when, one day, I was exiting the shower. Katia was jabbering about something incredibly important, so important that it couldn't' wait until I was all the way out of the shower and dried off. I was watching her face as she was talking when her eyes fell downward and then she stopped. She just stopped in mid-sentence and her eyes popped open like a Chinese fish on a platter.
"Mom! You have trash coming out of you!" she gasped.
I looked down at the little Tiffany blue string hanging down and quickly wrapped my towel around my waist. Busted. Time for "The Talk".
I told her how Mommy's have a blessing each month. I told her all about Eve and how she should never have eaten that damned apple. If she hadn't, we would never have to buy tampons, pads, and tons and tons of panties. I told her that this is why we shouldn't be able to vote or run for public office. Then we sat down at watched Carrie together. It was a special mother/daughter moment.