Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Shoes + Hair = Everything



Your hair and shoes are the most important part of your outfit. You can be walking around in a purple velour jumpsuit and pull it off as long as you're wearing a pair of Jimmy Chu's and a bad-ass hair style.

The opposite is not true; if you're wearing stupid shoes and have on a normal outfit it doesn't work. Even if you are normally attractive. There will be no chance of getting a job, making friends, or starring in your own t.v. sitcom. Please see example picture.

This is a picture of me with my new bad-ass hairstyle. My photographer is eight years old but she works for sliced apples and potato chips. In other words, it looks better in person. At least I think so, but that might be because I'm posing in front of the mirror so I'm able to make the best face possible while avoiding any neck wrinkles that are similar to a turtle vagina.

Doing my hair and make-up this morning was like a covert operation in an eastern block country. I was sitting in bed, talking on the phone when I noticed the shadow of a man right outside my window. His silhouette was hunched over and he was making his way around all my bedroom windows. The remarkable thing is that my bedroom is on the second floor. That's when I remembered that the painters were coming this morning. I wrapped up in my brown bear robe, black mascara smeared around my eyes like a heroin addict model and ducked into my bathroom. Alas, there was another window in there too. So I gathered my tackle and marine crawled into the closet where I'd be safe.

Considering all that, I think I look pretty good. I might just make the closet my new make-up bunker.

11 comments:

  1. Mrs. Not So YoungApril 15, 2009 at 1:40 PM

    Love your hair - you look sooo young!

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  2. I like! Hot Mama in full effect. ;)

    I agree with the having on hot shoes and a hot hairdo to match. Definitely true.

    Turtle vag? Care to post a pic? I'd like to use it for my screensaver.

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  3. What's wrong with a purple velour jumpsuit?

    Oh, and your hair looks AWESOME, like you should be living somewhere with marble floors and a fantastic view.

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  4. I freakin' love your hair. You're GD thief though, b/c that's my hair style. Well... not right now, but I'm letting mine grow out to this. It's chin length now. So there's plenty of time for you to select another style. ;)

    Completely agree about the hair and shoes.

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  5. yo, sassy pants, nice color, too! I don't care how comfortable those spring heeled shoes are, they are FUGLY!!!

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  6. I'm not sure which I like better: the hair style or the phrase "turtle vagina." May I steal both?

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  7. Not-so-Young: Thanks! Bangs are better than botox.

    Akilah - I'll try and find a picture of a turtle vagina for you and post it ASAP!

    Leslie - I take it back. I think you could wear a velour pants suit, for sure.

    Summer - Ya, beat you to it, ey? I'm going to keep this one for a while. I love it flattened or curly!

    DBWSC - Thank you, that's my natural color but not for long. I'm going to lighten it this week for the summer. Thats the season, not the blogger.

    Susannah - yes, you may steal my turtle vagina. (If I had a nickle for everytime ...)

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  8. Hey Blogger Queen - write me a story!

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  9. Dear Vagi (love your name)

    I will write you a story. What kind of story do you need?

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  10. Why don't you write one about my name?

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  11. Turtle vagina? I'm gonna use that one

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