Monday, April 6, 2009
My Better Half
That's what I'd name this product and what a great product it is! I'd like to expand it's usages to reflect the needs of the average American. Pay attention China.
1. Qualify for the carpool lane by hanging the arm out the passenger window. Enjoy the looks of horror as the passing car takes a gander at your decapitated friend. "Beep Beep! Outta my way or I'll cut your head off too!"
2. Virtual Mommy. a) Use as a prop to keep your infant in a seated position. b) Great for soft spanking. c) "I'll just lay with you until you fall asleep"
3. Hand-job Vibrator. You would need to install some kind of shaking device in the middle two fingers. [Side note: Spray with Scotch Guard first]
4. Win the Vote: "All in favor? Raise your hand."
5. Depression Therapy: A shoulder to cry on plus you can use the pocket to hold your chocolate covered Prozak candy.
6. Beach Toy: Bury in the sand and yell "Shark! Shark!"
7. Chasing: No special trick, just make a frantic schizo face while you run after people, shaking it above your head.
How much extra for the girl? I have work for her too.