Thursday, March 12, 2009

Did you know I'm a pretty Big Deal now?


I do not have an articulated pallet, but I can still do the splits (its not related, I just love to brag about my flexibility). I do not have an advanced education in foodology either, but that didn't stop me from landing a restaurant critic job for Uptake.com. Its a travel website that searches over 5000 travel websites and 20 million opinions to bring you travel reviews like no other. It covers attractions, hotels, restaurants and everything else. There are maps and all kinds of tools for traveling. My first review - click here!

I have to admit, they made an excellent choice. Living in the California wine country for the last 15 years has provided me with a firsthand knowledge of local restaurants in every single category, from five star to four wheels on a taco truck. I'm adventurous with food and I love research and writing.

Why do I get to tell people where and what to eat? Because, and I quote, I'm "edgy". This means that I'm close to the edge and I may just snap at any moment. If you read my restaurant reviews and my blog everyday, you may be lucky enough to actually witness the epic event. I don't have it scheduled, I'll just know when it's the right time to blow.

I've positioned myself as the $10 Diner. I'm going to travel around Napa and Sonoma Counties, and some outlying wine areas too, to see what $10 will get you. That's not to say that I'll only go to cheap restaurants, that would be too easy. I'm going everywhere, to all the restaurants you want to know about. I'll throw down my ten bucks and see what they bring me.

FAQ

Q - Does $10 include tip?
A - Yes, if they deserve a tip I will allocate 20%, because anyone who tips less than that is a douche bag.

Q - What if there is nothing on the menu for $10?
A - I will review the glass of water, the front door, or I may have to steel food from other people's tables while they're in the restroom.

Q - Are you going to tell them you're a restaurant critic?
A - No, but I may tell them that I'm a famous actress and I'll make them guess what movies I've been in. Or I'll pretend I'm deaf and make them pantomime all the dishes to me. I would also like to portray a news reporter who's covering a local bloody murder and claim to have "stuff" all over my shoes.

Q - "Will you take me with you and pay for my meal?"
A - No! Get your own damn free meal job.

Q - Will this go to your head or will you still be the adorable Blogger Queen we've come to love and know.
A - Straight to my head. I can barely even remember being one of you little people anymore. The Bloggerqueen.com will have lots of juicy background secrets behind my reviews. You'll get all the dirt, figuratively speaking.

Twitter me: bloggerqueen
Photo credit: http://hungryhedonist.blogspot.com/

11 comments:

  1. Enjoy! Eating is my favorite pasttime.

    Before your head explodes from all the attention, can I get an autograph? You're clearly going places doll.

    P.S.
    You like sitting by the window watching people fall! Ha! Er, I mean skate! You like to watch the skating. Got it!

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  2. I'll throw down my ten bucks and see what they bring me. This should be very interesting!

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  3. Peppermint Patty, mmmmm good.... I, too like a good deal at a nostalgic haunt. Thanks for reminding me of that little place girl! I'm with you on the grown up tortilla, I mean, call it a wrap, it's no more a real tortilla than a bagel with blueberries, sacrilege!

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  4. Thanks for reading my restaurant review guys! Please, for the love of God, subscribe to the RSS feed at the bottom of the food review. Its really easy.

    Whine of the week -- how about a new post today?

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  5. Once again, you are HI - fucking - larious. and you know it takes sooo much to make me laugh! I read the review of the Warm Puppy (and I love the Warm Pup by the way). I love the douche bag comment becuae it is just so true.
    I want to be there when you blow, so do give me a heads up. I am going to get it on film and Youtube it, and then Facebook it, and possible MySpace it too. And whatever other .com I feel like at the moment!

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  6. Alison - thanks for reading and loving.

    Gina - I would love to have you with me. Let's go to French Laundry!

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  7. I'm in. Although, pretty sure all we will be reviewing there are wood floats (you know---a toothpick floating in a glass of water)

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  8. Congrats! I've been writing restaurant reviews over at Uptake for around 6 months now...including one of Cindy's Backstreet Kitchen, which is right in Napa! I don't think much can be had there within your $10 spending limit, though... Still, it was one of the better lunches I've had in my life.

    Have fun writing for Uptake; we've got a nice group of bloggers over there.

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  9. Thanks Mudslide! I'm looking forward to meeting all of you some day.

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  10. Hi, very nice information... That's actually really cool Thanks. Restaurant Equipment

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