Tuesday, February 3, 2009

What's Your Name?

I think every women has a little Roller Derby Queen in her. I know I do. There are plenty of times at the grocery store that I fantasize about body slamming into someone whose parked their cart in the middle of the isle and just stands there contemplating which Rice-A-Roni would go best with frozen chicken nuggets.

Also, I would love to follow the assholes who zoom in front of my daughter's elementary school with all the kids trying to cross the street. I wouldn't let them see that I was following them. I'd just hang back far enough to see where they're going. Then, as their car door openend, I'd pull them out of the car by their hair and give 'em a knee to the nose.

I have anger issues. Who doesn't? So wouldn't it be great to have a job where you could unleash the inner bitch? YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT! But first, we need to have Roller Derby Queen names. These are some of the Bay City Bombers ...

Roller Biotch
Ruby Rox
Corporal Punishment
Becky Bash

What's your Roller Derby Queen name? Take part in this scientific poll, or just post your own ideas in the comments section.


  1. Akilah Ass-kicker

    Head Cracker


    Sakai Smash

  2. and, i think that we should hav ea new kind of roller derby that takes place in the grocery store. Think Supermarket Sweep meets roller derby. It would be totally AWESOME!

  3. I'd be either Killer Miller, or Les Sweet. And Gina, I must say that I do quite like yours.

  4. Akilah Ass-Kicker - I predict you're going to get a great deal of joy and deserved respect from your new Roller Derby Queen name.

    Va-Gina Lola Brigeta - Perfect name! And I totally agree with you, we should host the first Annual (and probably only) Grocery Store Smash Up. It would be like roller derby, UFC, plus a lot of weapons: carts, eggs, those metal tear teeth on the side of the plastic wrap box. OOoohhhh.

    Killer Miller - I'm not sure this name fits your personality. How about Leslie to Losenge? You would catch the opponents off guard by offering them throat losengers, but ha ha, they'd be really spicey and their eyes would water and just when they're blinded for that moment ... Whamo! Punch 'em right in the throat. Huh? P.S. I don't know how to spell losenger.

  5. Waste em Wanda

    whiplash Wendy


    Maybe we should start our own team!

  6. Whiplash Wendy - If we start our own team, I must insist on using the kind of skates that only roll forward (i.e., Dora the Explorer Skates) and I'll need a lot of padding and ibuprofin.

    About our team name? What should it be?

  7. vicious vixens....????

  8. hellooooo...some variation of TWAT??
    think CUGAR. C(an) U(nuff said) G(als) A(ll) R(ollerskate)

  9. Whiplash! That is the one!

    And, my dearest Leslie, I have it. ThE name for you:

    Les Get Physical

    If yoiu need more inspiration, here is a site with many names... http://www.twoevils.org/rollergirls/?c=1&r=1

  10. how about boob basher or cunt crusher

  11. I don't know who was posting as me before, since I just got here. I think it was T, who apparently wants to be a roller derby queen. I'll have to look into that.

    WTF with the lozenge names, BQ? I've been working out, so I deserve a better name. And while I like Gina's suggestion, I like my own better: Mo Lester


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