My husband, the sane grown-up around here, has warned me about losing my temper with tailgaters. "Just let them go past you, babe" he says real calm-like. Oooh, its just infuriating to be married to the Voice of Reason sometimes!
Therefore, I've developed other methods:
1. Call Them In. One day I was driving along, minding my own business and doing the speed limit when along came this chick in a BMW zooming right up on my ass. I mean seriously five inches off my bumper. We were on a street where the cops just love to snack on little speeders, so I'm not about to speed up for her. I tried to ignore her but it was way too serious. Then I remembered that I had my husband's police/fire radio on the seat next to me. So I picked it up and held it to my face like I was calling her in. I did this a couple of times so that she would definitely see me having a conversation. It worked! She backed off and took the next turn. I could just picture her hiding in a cul de sac and waiting for the coast to clear.
You may be saying to yourself "Oh ya Blogger Queen, that's fine for you and your husband, but what am I supposed to do? I don't have a police/fire portable scanner radio?" Don't be discouraged. Get an empty butter box and wrap it in black paper. Then tape a black pipe cleaner to the side Voila! You can call in all the speeders and tailgaters and drunk drivers you want! You can even make two and have a conversation with your son in the back seat. "Roger that. 10-4"
2. Drive Like You're Drunk. Slow down a little, then speed up for no reason. Then gently let your car move to the right and then jerk back to the center. Let your head nod a bit, like you're falling asleep. Put on your blinker and leave it going. I guarantee that the one-time asshole will immediately turn into a very alert and concerned citizen. He'll pass by you real fast and have a terrified look on his face. He'll probably call you in with a wrapped up butter box with a pipe cleaner taped to the side. Its important to NOT BREAK ANY LAWS OR DRIVE UNSAFELY. DON'T GO OVER THE LINE. Just be a little weird.
3. Be a Grown-Up. You could follow my husband's advice to me: "Just let them pass you, Sharon." Hmmph that's too predictable.